A Family Function? Oh..... Food?

"Hey. We are attending a marriage today"
The normal reply would be, "Who's getting married?"
Today, the obvious reply has turned out to be, "They'll have good food right?"

As I sat monotonously glued to the twenty inch monitor, I heard mom say, 
"You are coming to the reception at 6.30". 
Not a question, a statement. Can't say I expected anything more. People knew better than to leave me alone at home. (o_O) So, my reply turned out to be something like, 
"I'll bring the camera",
again, just a statement, not a request. 
"No. You wont", 
came the simple unarguable tone. Though, after a little arguing and some use of persuasion skills, I managed to get them to allow me to bring the mp3 player instead. 
 I allowed myself the liberty of this question,
"Who's getting married anyway?"
Dad started to speak, "Baby.......". 
The shock of hearing that word nullified the courtesy of not interrupting and I went,
"What?!!!?!! Baby?!"
And dad waved his hand and replied,
"Not her. Her daughter"
My jaw literally dropped,
"That's even worse!". Dad, totally unmoved by my ghastly show of emotions, simply laughed and said,
"Nah. That's just a nickname for my cousin."
*FACEPALM* 

Fast Forwarding Events....... >>>

After wasting fifteen priceless minutes in the car by untangling the earphones, I managed to hear a couple of songs before we reached. A huge place, a big parking lot, fancy ladies to welcome people, a big board with flowers and all the nice things saying 'X Weds Y'. None of all this even registered. My brain went something like, Big Place = Awesome Food! 

We walked in. For the sake of not freaking out the old timers there with my mp3 player, I reluctantly pocketed it. Blaring classical music is definitely not what you expected after listening to cool bits of western. What? A mini stage performance?! These guys are rich.  

After avoiding looking at the guitar players who made me J, I looked around a bit, not expecting to find anyone I knew. And then out of the blue an apparent relative, an old lady, came and shook my hand,
"Oh Hallo! Do you remember me??" Most certainly not.
"Oh.... I think I do."
"Aww. And you've grown so tall and bony!" Tell me something I don't know. :-/
"uh heh heh" 

And she went off to grab some other innocent kid's hand. I walked off before I could get assaulted again. I searched for a random friend who might be there and who I could go to and say, "Wow. I didn't know you're my relative". The only kid over here was an unknown, mischievous looking, ten year old twerp who I had no intentions of meeting. 

Next Stop. It should have been the first. The eating place. After a thorough examination of the fancy buffet hall, I grabbed a plate and a tissue. I meant business here. :P


I wasn't intending to do a 3 Idiots-ish whitewash of the marriage food but it did come very close to that. I wouldn't go on to explain how I managed to chomp a piece of every food existing there with meticulous precision. I believe in the art of eating slowly and peacefully rather than gobbling down everything with fetish and burping in the most uncivilized manner. There are exceptions of course. Say, when the food in question is in any kind of threat of being cleaned up by others, all manners and civility are forgotten. But in this case, there wasn't any necessity for the dog instincts to take over. There was infinite supply of the noodles and the naan. 

I looked at the irresistible Ice-cream. I got myself a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Not the best. But anything goes when it is osee.
"You want fruit on that?" I like ice cream without pollution.
"No thanks" 
It took a little more than a second you could say, before:
"Can I have another scoop?"
"Oh, sure, how much ever you want" 
Now that would have been a very grave thing to say if it weren't for my addiction to remain staggeringly underweight. 
I spared the ice cream box after the second serving. It was really hard, bringing in the self control. 

I finally allowed myself a glance at the bride and the groom. It must be boring to stand there all day and smile at every single soul who says "Congratulations" and other formalities. But deciding that the new couple wouldn't be what you call 'bored' on the very first day, I refrained from thinking such pointless thoughts. Now I carefully extracted my mp3 player which seemed to have buried itself deep inside the pocket. Earphones tangle themselves faster and more efficiently when they are left alone. And they show no respect to the laws of science while doing so. But who cares, as long as they work.


I understand that old people don't use gadgets but they don't need to stare at it like it was a time bomb. I had to turn on the full volume to nullify the classical cacophony. But to avoid the frequent suspicion that blood was pouring from my ears I went outside and reduced the volume. :P It was time to go. And after a content reception attendance we left. Oh the 'content' part? I mean my stomach obviously. 


With a post that  was meant to be about attending marriages but turned out to be  wholly  about food and music, I sign out :P