Social, I have nothing more to say to you.......

No regrets.........

Well, you could call this a nerdy post #3 in a row. But this just has to be there. Landmark moment in life.Ten years of downright torture. Now that's something one shouldn't be giving innocent children like us. (Ignoring the magnitude of the lie in that word 'innocent') 

It all started ten years ago with a little something called 'EVS'

"Hey look! Dog! That's a living thing. And look there! Table! That would be a non living thing"

That would make the first chapter. And the journey for the social studies muggers started there:

"Table Nonliving, Dog Living. Table Non living. Dog, Living. Table. Living.... Ugh... no!"

Going again, "Dog living. Table non living" Oh wait. that's wrong too. The book says 'table' first, so going again,

"Table Non living. Dog living. Table non living. Dog living"

"Yes! I mugged it up", following it with fists pumping in air. Hence, with such methodical and mind blowing skills, nerds, officially originated.

So that would be,

Fatality #1 : Origination of nerds.

Now, five years quietly pass. Nothing devastating happens. We get to know that we can fall out of the other side of the earth by digging a hole and that the bald guy in the money notes is a historical superhero. But people begin to show signs of clutching their heads and pulling their hairs off.

Enter class six. People begin to lose a considerable amount of hair. The general public becomes concerned and invent shampoos to aid social studying students. But it cant completely nullify the power of social:

Fatality #2: Hair loss and partial baldness

Now, what used to be "dog", turned into "Mo-Hen-Jo-Da-Ro" in a simple matter of six years. And it doesn't end there too.

The book would say, "Mehincho Odimbaka (The Kenyan Cricket Team gave me the idea) lost his left slipper while travelling on a road, partially brownish in colour, in the south western region of Mohenjodaro"

Now how on earth would a poor sixth grader learn that?! Inhumane, really.

But, by this time nerds have moved on from the category of 'Humans' to 'Scanning Machines'. They now memorize roadside vehicles' registration numbers for time pass.

But, this situation must be taken into consideration from the viewpoint of the general population. How do they do it?

One way would be to shout each syllable while banging the book on the forehead -

"Mo" *bang* "Hen" *Bang* "Jo" *Bang* .... and so on. The methods vary from person to person, but rest assured that every method involves banging something on the head, which brings us to -

Fatality #3: Unduly Headaches

We move on to the later stages of this abysmal ten year run. Words like "Constitution", "Topography" and "Dictatorship" become dreadfully common. People dearly miss the "Dog" and the "table". The time starts when people are subjected to droning voices in social periods. These sound waves act like powerful hypodermic darts. The first benchers as always, wear out their fingers by taking notes. But as always, our concern is for the general population, which lies in troubled sleep:

Fatality #4: Hypersomnia or Excessive Sleep Disorder

(Incidentally, Hypersomnia increases death rates, so they're effectively trying eradicate student population with social)

We enter the phase of exams. Picture it. A ninth grader, clutching his head (this has become part of life so I might as well not mention it), eyes wide open, with a hellish expression on his face staring at a 'less-than-one-square-foot' notebook.

He reads slowly, "The Constitutional Rights:- Right to equality", written in blue gel pen.

His mind which is whining would pick up concentration on anything other than social:

The mind processes go like -

This blue gel pen smudges a lot. I need to get better ones. Oh, they showed this awesome pen on television in this advertisement when I was watching 'Star Wars'. Star Wars is so cool! *Sigh* Wouldn't it be simply awesome if those swords were real? I could even use it as a cricket bat and win the world cup for India!

*Imagines hitting a six stylishly with a laser bat*

*Picks up a real bat and swings wildly and breaks the flower vase on the table*

Yes, only social can make you go from "Constitution" to "Playing cricket with laser bat"

That makes two fatalities. Isn't social on a roll or what?

Fatality #5: Daydreaming

Fatality #6: Breaking precious objects

Of course #6 can be brought about by simpler methods. Like flinging a cup of hot coffee on your geography book for instance.

I could go on forever. There are atleast about hundred such disasters caused by social. But I see no point in wasting your time even more so I would stop here.

So there you have it. Everything there is to know about social. If you want your life disfigured completely for ten years, then social is the right thing to do! 

For now, I would settle for personal celebrations and sadistically watch every other kid suffer social's wrath. Now to end this with a blissful statement-

Social. Is. Dead. Forever!