Relaxation Time - With Story Books

This blogpost comes into existence because of sheer boredom. Its summer. Half of us out there are sweating and walking like maniacs not knowing what to do. The other half are out secretly partying. The only things I find amusing during those periods of helplessness during power cuts are story books. Story books can really take you to another world (You will continue to sweat in that world too. That is the power of Chennai)


You should be experiencing a dizzy, everything-swirling-around-you-for-five-seconds feeling after you snap shut a heck of a story book. Yeah, that's because it takes those five seconds to come back to this world. (Overkill? :P )  Of course movies can do just the same but due to lack of experience and the fact that power cuts render movie watching obsolete. (I'm obviously referring to thiruttu DVD watching or  Piratebay downloads)

Don't tell me that you feel no such thing, that you remain seated exactly in the same position  on the chair and don't go casually strolling in other worlds. Not even halfway through? Midair?? No?  *Sigh* Such down to earth people the earth has :I

Oh, I just realized I'm supposed to be talking about story books. Hmpf. Maybe I'll change the title to "I'm Bored. What about you?" and get on with it. Anyways, here goes.  Hopefully, they'll make no sense. Yeah duh, my posts which make no sense are much better.

 
You would have come across some over smart guys out there who try to convert a super-hit book series into movies and earn big bucks. You would obviously have seen him miserably fail too. Look at what happened to Harry Potter? Books-> Superhits. Movies-> Megaflops.
Huh what? You're telling me the movies were hits as well?! You're kidding me.Surely they cant have been hits after they chopped off half the scenes or when they killed Sirius Black in half a second and let the uncensored Harry-Cho scene roll for minutes?? Or maybe that's why they became hits. Sheesh. What a public....Okay, we'll have another "HP Movies Suck!" Blogpost sometime in the future and drop the issue for now.


It doesn't end there. Movies tend to destroy the books too. Your mind's eye would be imagining the hero of this book, whom you like, to look like something awesome. And then they make this movie, and this hero is portrayed by a long nosed, wrinkle faced twerp. That's it. Your favourite hero just turned into the long nosed, wrinkle faced twerp who had instantaneously destroyed your 'mind's eye hero' and so you would go hate the character now just because of the movie.

They destroyed Albus Dumbledore from the Third Part. Then they destroyed Percy Jackson. Hope they don't do the same to Artemis Fowl.

 So, how do you figure out if a book is good? There are some simple things. If you look at the page number occasionally, flip the pages to see how much more for the chapter to end, or get distracted easily, then you've gotten yourself a bad book. Of course there are books which are drab and dull throughout but deliver the stunning finish which makes you admire the book despite a lack of overall brilliance.


 Bah, why bother? If you get a book, read it without second thoughts instead of analyzing and inquiring about it.

Moving to the genres (I've never really understood the pronunciation of that word. Its really Jyonur and not Jenray? ) of books:


Plain Adventures. where Boy A, learns a deep secret that was hidden from him for years - that his parents were mauled by a tiger while they were having a romantic stroll in the jungle. So he, emotionally gripped with vengeance, goes to a jungle, kills the tiger heroically only to have Man B, tell him that the tiger was innocent and his parents were scratched to death by the hounds of Man C. *Sigh* You get my idea. Not very interesting to read unless the author is a genius. Fortunately most authors happen to be geniuses (or is it genii?) These authors have the ability of turning content-less books into hits just with their language. Heard of Alistair Maclean? He can make your history book turn into a thriller with his language. He's mostly about World War II campaigns of different people, rescue missions and that sort. He pulls out these amazing twists out of nowhere. They're better than ones in the crime mysteries. Also, his characters' conversations are filled with subtle humour and irony that can make things more brighter than they are in the story. His description of things. Whoa. You could be there at that spot with a paper and pencil and you cant describe the place better than him. Such good people exist just to give us a jolly time pass. How nice of them.


Fantasy. Depends on the author. And you would need more time to grasp fantasies than a normal book. That's because you would need to learn about their world and their laws and principles. For example, if there is a book in which it says, if one guy touches his right elbow with his left leg in a certain spot, then lightening would strike a certain volcano. Now when the guy does that often, you must automatically understand its implications.There have been absolutely-brilliant fantasies. (Take hint! HP! HP!) There have been useless ones. So when you go to this section of the library you have to get lucky. Or you need to have friends who've gobbled them up.


Comedy. I'm definitely not talking about something like this,

ATM Withdrawl
Sardarji 1: I saw your password! Ha! Its Star Star Star Star. I'm a genius.

Sardarji 2: Hahaha. Yo got it wrong! Its 4318.

Though, even this has gone from the category of "Joke" to "Unforgivable Mokkai" among the 5th generation people. Jokes don't become jokes because of the content. Its the phrasing and the way its told that makes you laugh. Don't get my idea? Make Vijaykant tell a joke to public which you thought was super funny and I'll give you ten bucks if he doesn't get hit by ripe tomatoes for it. I'm talking about those beauty of books which make you double over every now and then with their dialogues, timings and mostly language. Read those books searching for content, you'll be wasting time. These books are built just for humour.
Example? PG.Wodehouse. You've got to feel awed by that guy. He's one reliable mood lifter and when you're reading his books, people around you tend to ask, "Is something wrong with you? Stop with the foolish grinning"


Crime Mysteries. Suspense is everything in these books. Open the last page first and you might as well chuck the book out. A murder scene. One obvious suspect who is doesn't seem to be a murderer. Investigation. Clues. Interrogation. Finally the fantastic build up in the last few chapters and the unexpected truth which leaves you stunned for seconds. Different detectives do the climax in different ways.


The Sherlock Way:
They'll all be talking pretty normally. Watson, Sherlock Holmes, a couple of people and some policemen. Sherlock would casually go and say, "The murderer happens to be him" pointing at a guy. And that guy snatches out an unexpected gun or a cyanide capsule to gobble but the police have already snatched him. Then, Holmes explains to the always-baffled-and-gaping Watson and the police chief what it was all about and the how and the why. No marvelous speeches, no build ups, but he still leaves you gaping.

The Poirot Way:

Hercule Poirot gets the ten-fifteen people to attend a dinner party and claims that he knows who the murderer is. With Oos and Aahs from every side, he begins his classic build up, how he eliminated X and Y, why the murder was committed, why Z did this suspicious thing even though he was innocent, and why A was hiding some things. He finally gets to how the psychology of the murderer only matches one and only one person in that room. He slowly turns around to face him. Their eyes meet.

"Messieurs and madames, I present the murderer. Voila! Monseigneur B!!"  
(Just how odd does "Monseigneur B" sound? O.o )


Crime mysteries don't have to be necessarily murders. But its always better to have someone dead


Situational. What genre would you put a book in which describes the life of a man who was working in World Trade Centre and lost his entire family there while he survived? Thriller? Maybe. Or this book where Saddam Hussein steals an important US document and threatens to burn it in public? Or this life of a little girl who turns into the US president. Jeffrey Archer material. And every single one is genius.

Hence, story book reading remains the only form of entertainment during power cuts since every other form of my entertainment requires electricity or roaming in the summer heat.  But hey, don't go reading Tinkle, though that's awesome too.