It has been a week at college. It hasn’t been the greatest of the beginnings. In a new place, it usually never is for me. But this time there was something extra. This time I was never going back.
The academics is fantastic, the hostel is good, the mess food is much better than expected and there are thousands of other activities I could participate in. There are thousands of new people to talk to, to make friends with. Yet, I miss home. I miss school. I miss my family. I miss school friends. I miss them like never before.
I hadn’t ever given college life a thought. It never hit me; not until I was alone in the hostel room at night staring at the opposite wall. I was never going back home. Physically, yes, I would visit it a lot. But, mentally, I was out. Every moment after this I go farther away from home. And I’m never coming back for good. I had been given a huge responsibility: the responsibility of surviving alone.
It does sound very big when you put it like that. And it is indeed really big for someone who hasn’t seen much of the outside world. But I’m getting better already. I’m getting used to being alone. But it does take some time to come in terms to the fact that childhood is gone. Getting used to being alone means acknowledging and living with the fact that you aren’t going to be with your family anymore. And that is just plain sad. I would kill to be a kid again.
To think, I’d complained about so many things when I was a kid, gotten bored and tired in so many situations. Now I miss them all. That agonizingly boring chemistry class, that horrifying early morning journey in a crowded bus to Ashok Nagar for JEE coaching and those days of absolute boredom at home: those memories are gold now.
And friends, so many friends I hadn't talked enough with and hadn't said proper goodbyes to. Everything was just so abrupt. There wasn't enough time. There never is enough time.
Maybe I’m a guy who dislikes the present, whatever it is and gets lost in nostalgia and likes to grumble about it. That adds another dimension to, “the grass is greener on the other side”. If that’s true, then I’m going to miss my college like crazy after five years. I’m going to have a lousy life if I keep doing this.
So that’s one week gone now. There’s still a lot of time to start enjoying myself. I better do that before those five years run out. It's always better to not think about these things. I guess it's really time I plunged into college life.
To all my friends in a college outside Chennai: have a terrific college life. And keep in touch. Things are never going to be the same again. But it doesn’t always have to be the same way. Things can even get better. Let’s just enjoy the moment. :)
The academics is fantastic, the hostel is good, the mess food is much better than expected and there are thousands of other activities I could participate in. There are thousands of new people to talk to, to make friends with. Yet, I miss home. I miss school. I miss my family. I miss school friends. I miss them like never before.
I hadn’t ever given college life a thought. It never hit me; not until I was alone in the hostel room at night staring at the opposite wall. I was never going back home. Physically, yes, I would visit it a lot. But, mentally, I was out. Every moment after this I go farther away from home. And I’m never coming back for good. I had been given a huge responsibility: the responsibility of surviving alone.
It does sound very big when you put it like that. And it is indeed really big for someone who hasn’t seen much of the outside world. But I’m getting better already. I’m getting used to being alone. But it does take some time to come in terms to the fact that childhood is gone. Getting used to being alone means acknowledging and living with the fact that you aren’t going to be with your family anymore. And that is just plain sad. I would kill to be a kid again.
To think, I’d complained about so many things when I was a kid, gotten bored and tired in so many situations. Now I miss them all. That agonizingly boring chemistry class, that horrifying early morning journey in a crowded bus to Ashok Nagar for JEE coaching and those days of absolute boredom at home: those memories are gold now.
And friends, so many friends I hadn't talked enough with and hadn't said proper goodbyes to. Everything was just so abrupt. There wasn't enough time. There never is enough time.
Maybe I’m a guy who dislikes the present, whatever it is and gets lost in nostalgia and likes to grumble about it. That adds another dimension to, “the grass is greener on the other side”. If that’s true, then I’m going to miss my college like crazy after five years. I’m going to have a lousy life if I keep doing this.
So that’s one week gone now. There’s still a lot of time to start enjoying myself. I better do that before those five years run out. It's always better to not think about these things. I guess it's really time I plunged into college life.
To all my friends in a college outside Chennai: have a terrific college life. And keep in touch. Things are never going to be the same again. But it doesn’t always have to be the same way. Things can even get better. Let’s just enjoy the moment. :)
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