RSI Interview

IIT-Madras. Some are fascinated by it. Some are obsessed to get into it. But most of us don't really care about it. But I must say I was amazed when I went there for the first time. It isn't all about technology and being nerdy. There are tennis courts, basketball courts, swimming pools, cricket grounds and the place is simply huge. Coming to the technology part of it, they make some crazy things down there. But I've realized that all those 'instruments' are fascinating only on first sight and can be incredibly boring on deeper analysis for those who have no interest in science.   

For those who do not know, RSI or Research Science Institute is basically a summer camp inside IIT and you get to  explore and play with your desires in science. You have to stay there for the month of May and listen to a series of lectures and make a project. I was lucky to be one of the people to get chosen for this but the problem was that from the chosen people only three (two this year) get selected based on an interview. The interview. That was the problem. Written tests were all fine. But this?! Anything to do with face-to-face talking was a problem for me.

I had another problem. Half of me didn't want to go in the first place. Why? Because I thought it would be a sheer waste of a month. My initial reaction was all positive. One month in IIT for free?!!! And I signed up just like that without a second thought. Then people began dropping out, people said it wasn't worth it. Suddenly I found myself completely unwilling to go. But the interview was inevitable. "Go flunk in the interview", said a nasty part of my mind. It would be an extremely stupid thing to do. If I didn't want to come I should have dropped out. Then I told myself I'll give it my best at the interview and I'll let fate decide and maybe think of dropping out if I get selected. No, that was stupid too. It was a big chance after all. Bah, lets see how the interview goes.

The day arrived. The feeling wasn't unlike a maths exam. But I wasn't feeling one bit nervous, maybe because I didn't care about the outcome. Also, I didn't prepare a single thing before the interview. Maybe it was my usual laziness, maybe it was my indifference towards the interview. The others said they hadn't prepared as well. But people usually don't go talking about their preparations.

The Library

The interview was to take place at the computer science lab, the interviewers being three professors, geniuses by the looks of them. The eight of us sat down in the library. A peon entered, "Who's the first?"

The guy next to me raised his arm before I had the chance to and he ran off without a backward glance. I wanted to go first. I wanted it finished quickly. Now I had to wait for him to come back. The wait was a long one. I could tell that almost everyone around me was nervous. One had his face in his hand, one looked like he hadn't slept, one kept talking to perhaps reduce the nervousness, one was lost in thought, one was supremely calm and composed and last one was trying to control his emotion. To be honest, I was getting bored so I picked up "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows" and started reading from a random page. Soon the guy returned. He was grinning, yet he had the air of someone completely destroyed inside out. He made a thumb down and said, "Super flop!". Maybe I should have let someone else go but I sprang up immediately after I saw him and dashed towards the computer lab with remarkable confidence, totally unaware of the impending doom.    

Inside The Chamber  

I opened the door to the Senior Computer Science Lab. I felt a blast of chill air hit my face. I walked inside. Immediately, as though it was waiting to happen, my insides turned into ice which flooded across every part of my body, my brain had gone numb and my mouth had gone bone-dry. My heart began hammering furiously. The confidence I had few moments earlier had evaporated completely. I had no idea where the nervousness had erupted from all of a sudden.

The three professors were sitting there talking with each other and handling a file. They stopped when they saw me and the one on the left gave me a wide smile, "Come in.... Sit Down". I did NOT like the smile.

 I sat. This didn't feel like a science exam. This felt like a public debate. The freak-nervousness that comes with it matched. 

All three of the smiled mechanically. The one in the middle asked,
"Your name?"
"Arjun"

He flipped through the files and handed over a sheet of paper to the professor on the left.
"So how do you feel?", the smile was still there. I suppose they intended it to have a calming and encouraging effect in which case they were failing miserably.

"Fine... um.. a bit.. nervous", I managed.
I didn't say 'nervous' because I was actually nervous but because I thought they might ask easier questions if I said so. Foolish logic. But there you are, I had already mentioned that my brain had jammed.

The guy laughed, (I suppose its rude to say 'guy' here, but its much shorter than using 'professor' all the time, so *shrugs*)

"Nervous?! Why're you nervous? There's no need for you to be nervous!"
Yeah. Sure.  You can say that sitting there.

"em... ye-ah"

"So do you fight a lot with your brother and sister?", he asked, exchanging pointless looks of glee with his neighbours.

I momentarily forgot my nervousness. Excuse me. What?!

"I don't have siblings", I said in a rather firm tone.

I had bulbed him to oblivion. It was the biggest bulb I had seen so far. The battle was won. I relished the triumph. I looked up at him. He was still smiling. He had not even lost his poise.

"So I guess you fight with your dad when you want him to get you a cricket ball, say?"

Suddenly I felt extremely stupid. The moment of triumph had vanished. And now it seemed  so foolish to have felt happy for a bulb for even that millisecond. 

"Er,.. no... He gets me a cricket ball if I ask him for one"

"Oh... Right"


Now the guy on the left spoke and I felt something dangerous was coming,
"So if I asked you from which direction is the schools gate is your house located what would you say?" The question was so sudden.

I gaped at him.
"er..... ...... um..."
He didn't wait.
"Okay tell me this. Which direction is the school's gate facing?"

 I understood the question. It was a start.

But I didn't know the answer. 

"Hm.. You've been through the school gate about thousand times and you never thought of this?", he was positively grinning now. 

What did it matter where the school gate faced?

"Um. I dont know. But, if I know where the sun rises I can find out".

"Everyone knows the sun rises in the east", he said. Apart from the fact that they were trying to maintain an encouraging atmosphere by smiling, they were merciless.

I could have facepalm-ed. That was not what I meant but I should have phrased it in a better way.
What I meant was- 'If I knew where the sun is right now, I can find out'.

 But I only managed, "um.. I meant.. um.. not that...."

He coolly cut across me.
"Take a look outside. We'll give you one minute. Then tell us"
"What.... Now?" I had convinced myself that I would be imprisoned and tortured here for atleast another half an hour. The prospect of leaving this place for even a minute was unbelievable.
"Yes! Now...", and he gestured towards the door. I sprang up and went for the door. Even my legs felt weak. My mind was filled with a strange and disrupting buzz. I opened the door and stepped outside. At that moment, I fully appreciated the warmth of sunlight. The effect was overwhelming. I just stood there for a few moments taking deep breaths, momentarily forgetting why I was there. Then, I looked up, the sun was on the left, and the school gate was behind me and it was morning so.... It took half a second to figure it out. Its amazing how the brain worked so quickly then. I realized I was supposed to go back inside. For a fleeting moment I thought I'd run for it instead. I should've done that really.


I went back in. The whole thing took fifteen seconds. He had allowed me one minute. I came back early. Does that mean I did extremely well? Or maybe he just thought I was stupid and that I couldn't say the answer straightaway and had to look where the sun is do find out, so he decided on one minute randomly? But their faces betrayed nothing. They were smiling as usual. I sat.


"So?"
"The school gate is facing the north"
"mmm" He had given no impression that my answer was correct. He simply nodded.
"It says here that you like mechanics. What do you like about mechanics?"
Truth is that I have no idea what mechanics is really about. All I know is that Newton's Law 'F=ma'. And I know how to solve some decent problems with it. These guys were totally about the practical approach. And i did not like mechanics. I had just written that for the sake of writing something.
"um... I like to analyse the motion of objects... and um... see how things.. work"
A pathetic lie. Who on earth cares how things work as long as they do?


He nodded. Something told me I was in deep trouble.

I was.  

Its Official!

 

"So how do you come to school?", the guy on the left asked, now in a more business like tone. I was to take it that the interview had started.
"Cycle", I said automatically and I regretted it immediately.
"Aha!", he pounced.
"Now, if I give you two cycles: one with a bigger crank shaft and one with a smaller one. Which would you choose?"
I stared. What on earth was a crank shaft? I tried escaping -
"Sir I don't own a gear cycle so I wouldn't know about crank shafts"
"Oh no no no... ", the guy in the middle started, smiling nastily, "every cycle has a crank shaft". Dang! 


"Oh."
My expression couldn't have been more blank. And all three of them were staring into my eyes and smiling. How  was I supposed to think? But I somehow managed to put things together : The only thing which is important and big enough to have such a complicated name must be the chain and whatever is there in there, the small wheel like thing around which the chain rotates. So he's probably asking which one is more energy efficient for the same distance? I tried unconsciously blabbering once again:
"Sir... if you apply a force on the pedal......."
"No no, don't involve force in this" 
My insides were getting colder.


Then I thought about the gears in a gear cycle. In one gear you had to do a lot of pedalling to move, in another gear you could get there with lesser pedalling and all those 'crank-shaft' sizes were different. So now all I had to figure out was which was which. I tried doing some physics mentally. Smaller radius... R... . one rotation... 2 pi... But no, it was hopeless. Their stares were making it impossible to think plus my brain had already jammed. I had to guess.
"I would take the one with the bigger crank shaft"
The guy on the left leaned forward,
"Why?!"
"I think... I am not too sure, that with lesser amount of pedalling we can move the same distance with the cycle with a bigger crank shaft"
"Oh....... Right", he exchanged glances with the guy in the middle. That smile did not waver. Again, they didn't give the slightest indication that I was right. I was to know later that I was dead wrong.


"You watch racing? Formula 1?"
This time I was prepared.
"No." I don't know what car racing is and I haven't seen a car in my life. No thank you.


But he asked anyway.
"You've noticed that the racing cars' tyres are unlike the ones which go on road?"
I considered telling him that I had no idea what a racing car looked like but I had lied too much already.
"Ye-es...."
"So how are those tyres different from the normal ones"
"They are um... big... and um..."
Sheesh
He stared at me for a moment with his eyebrows raised.
"Hm.. You've noticed that the usual tyres have certain irregularities in them?"
"Yes"
Ask me what they're called. Please ask me what they're called.
"You know what they are called?"
YES!
I opened my mouth to speak but no words came. Somehow, incredibly, I had forgotten. I was so confident that I had known the word a moment earlier. I racked my brains but no, the word was lost. I stared at them, looking miserable. They continued to smile. The guy on the left edged forward,
"Yes?"
I shook my head. This was ridiculous.
"Why do they have these irregularities? How do they help?"
"It helps increasing friction... so you can turn easier I suppose"
"Yes yes but, how does it increase friction?"
"Um... its kind of rough... and uh... more...uh ", I tried making actions for I couldn't get out the words.
Yet again, they simply nodded me out, not paying attention to what I was trying to do.
*sigh*
"Can you find these irregularities on the tyre of a race car?"
The way the question was phrased itself suggested that the answer was no, yet,
"I guess so...."
"Are you sure?"
"uhhm yeah... I think they'll have lesser irregularities than in the normal ones since they have to go fast but I think they will have some since they have to turn fast too and you need some friction for that"

Yes, I was looking exceptionally like that

"No. As a matter of fact, the race car tyres are completely bald", he finished, smiling gravely.
I sat there, mouth open.
"A-Are they?"
"Yes..." It was incredible how he was still smiling. It was a mocking smile. Even a look of deepest disappointment or irritation would have been better than this.


"Your cycle has a brake right? Well, how do ships brake?"
Sorry. No clue. I think you should let me go and save both of us the embarrassment.
The thing that flashed in mind straightaway was Popeye the sailor man.
"Um... an-chor... ?"
"No no. Anchors are used to hold a ship steady in a dock. How do ships slow down and stop?"
Anchor was the only technical term I knew which was related to ships. Now it was time to blabber.
"The water provides a lot of friction, so all they have to do is switch of their motors at a certain distance and the water will stop the ship automatically"
"What. That's how they stop ships?"
"Er?"
"Couldn't you use the same force which runs the ship to stop the ship?", he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
 "I.. er... suppose you could do that"
Now the guy in the middle started after a long time,
"Have you seen the movie, 'The Titanic' "
"Yes". I realized I hadn't. But I knew the facts.
"How do they stop a ship there?"
"Well, they dont really stop it. An iceberg comes and crashes into the ship and breaks it into two..........."
And they started laughing as if I had told a very amusing joke. I couldn't have found anything less humourous. 
"No, we don't want to destroy a ship do we?"


"So, do you play carrom?"
I saw no point in lying. After all, how much worse can it get?
"Yes".
I waited for the pounce.
It came sooner that expected.
"Hm. So if I wanted you to pocket this black coin and also wanted you to push your opponents white coin to the other side at one shot, how would you do it?", he said, making a series of diagrams in air. I didn't feel like talking. So, I pointed at the paper lying on the table and asked him if I could use it.
"Of course, of course". Things would be a million times better if he just stopped smiling and staring at me!
I drew a few circles and a few straight lines and went,
"If you hit here, it'll go hit there and this'll go here and that'll go there"
It was right essentially but a guy on the street could've told him that.
They gave me an instantaneous look of disbelief which switched immediately into a smile. I'd rather they shouted.
"O-kay. There is a special word for what happens in this. What is it?"
"Um.... collision?", the question mark after an answer was always there. I wasn't sure of anything now.
"No.. not collision, another word which accurately describes what happens here. You've studied it at school. Come on!",
Seriously? Come on?
I racked my brains for other complicated, scientific terms I knew. In milliseconds my thoughts dried up and I ended up looking into their laser-like eyes again.
"Impact!", the guy in the middle said, "Impact",
"Haven't you studied this in earlier classes? Oblique Impact? No?"
Okay? Isn't collision the same as impact? O.o


"Okay. We'll ask you an easy question"
I did not feel like relaxing.
And so the final nail in the coffin,
"If I give you a balloon filled with air, how would you find its density?"
I don't know what was worse. The fact that the question didn't seem to be too tough but I had no clue what the answer was or the fact that they said the question was easy and they were thoroughly under the impression that they had asked an easy question or the fact that they were smiling expectantly as if waiting for me to burst out with the answer any second.


I did the only thing I had been doing. Sit there looking blankly. Their laser-eyes rooted me to the spot choking all thinking possible. Seconds passed.
 "Okay, what is density?"
"M-ass by Volume?"
"Everyone knows that", he said, showing the first sign of irritation. My supreme knowledge had finally managed to break his composure.
"So how'd you measure the volume of a sphere?"
"Um.. you need to measure the radius of the balloon?"
"Yes. How do you do that?"
"umm... using a .... ruler?"
"WHAT?! You measure the radius of a balloon using a RULER?!", he said looking shocked and quite forgetting to smile.
I didn't know what was so shocking about it. I made movements with my hand to show how I'd place a ruler on the balloon and find the radius.
He simply looked at me. Then they looked at each other.
"Okay, think about it. You can go", he said, picking up the files again.
Freedom?

I rose immediately.
The guy on the right suddenly said, speaking for the first time,
"Oh by the way. Don't google the solution. Think about it yourself. Try to figure it out.", he said very seriously.
I had to think a moment to figure out what he was talking about. Then I nodded absent mindedly.
I wouldn't dream of googling it. I wouldn't dream of even thinking about the damned problem. At that moment, I hated every single thing about science. I realized I had zero interest in science from the beginning so in a way, flunking it was good. People more deserving and interested could make better use of the camp. I felt like going home and eating and sleeping and playing computer games and enjoying life instead. I thought about May. The whole month was free now. I had cricket matches to look forward to, and possibly birthday treats or hangouts.

My expression exactly after coming out

 I stepped outside. The other seven were waiting there. I must have looked completely destroyed because the one who went in first started grinning at the sight of me and said, "Pocha?". I returned the grin giving him a thumbs down. I was actually laughing. They surrounded me pounding me with questions about what they asked, how it went and all that. My head was spinning. Everything was a blur till I opened my box of bread and pineapple jam.
                                                   

Money Minded Maniacs I - The Mechanics

There are four kinds of people who steal. (No, there are obviously more, but the number comes under 'uncountable', so this will settle for now) The first. The honest thieves, the ones who do the direct job of drilling through bureaus and gobbling up money. The second, politicians. No surprises there. "Honest Poltician" was always an oxymoron. So, even they are forgiven since we already know that they must always be bad.

It is the third and fourth that I find are outrageous. The ones who fix our broken gadgets and machines and the ones who fix our body parts. In simple terms, mechanics and doctors.

The Mechs

They don't use knives and guns to rob. Your lack of knowledge is their weapon. First, they never turn up for repairs unless they are sure they can hit a jackpot, which they tend to hit very often. And their frequent targets: Old timers. The young generation know and meddle too much.

------------------
You would be relaxing after retirement and would want so check "e-mail" to see if your old friend sent you something. You would have, with some difficulty, memorized the sequence to do that.

Start-> All Programs -> Mozilla Firefox

One fine day, an error pops up when you open. Extremely baffling. Without second thoughts you phone the software guy.

"Hello. The Mozilla Firefox in my computer is not working! What is wrong?", you would say in a desperate voice.
"We will attend to the matter immediately sir. We will send an expert, soon", he would say in his most silkiest voice.

If you were lucky and you got the meaning of his "soon", you would scream into the phone just before he slams it down,
"When?! Today 6 pm?"
"Ah, sure sir."

And when he doesn't turn up at 6 pm, or the 6 pm of the next day, or the next. You call him up again.
"We had lodged a complaint that Mozilla Firefox isn't working. You said you would sent a man at 6 pm that day. Where is he?!", you could shout all you want.
"Is it so sir? I will send a man immediately to attend the matter.", he would say, completely disregarding your screams.

After this continues for another week. He would finally turn up mumbling things like,
"Traffic", "Work Overload" and "Couldn't make it"
You would feel like asking, "Why the hell did you so coolly say, you'll come then?"

He would walk to the P.C and ask you a few questions about what's wrong to make sure you're the biggest fool in town. Once he does that, he'll go:
Right Click -> Refresh
like twenty times like it'll solve everything. Then, he'll go amaze you by doing things you've never seen before. You'll be sitting there astonished. But if you're lucky to have a kid in the house who's tweaked everything he can get his hands on, the kid will save the day by furiously whispering in your ear,
"This guy isn't doing anything. He's just clearing temporary files!"
But no, you wouldn't listen to any kids. The mechanic is god. He knows everything. Heh! :P

"Sir, there is a problem in the C.P.U. The processor seems to be overworked. We would need to take it to our hardware office to inspect it", the silky voice returns.

The kid would be in open-mouthed disbelief, with every inch of his body screaming, "WTH?! You're kidding me"
But who listens to kids? You'll nod gravely as the mechanic suppresses a grin and removes the piece of machinery from your sight.

"I will call you when everything is alright sir. It wont take more than two days"

The waiting game starts again. Two days. Five. Ten. A hundred phone calls. Different innovative excuses each time. The kid will be having a "What did I tell you?" expression.
You've finally had enough. You go to that place directly and blow up. He'll still be grinning.
He has already won the battle when he took away your piece of machinery.

"Sir, we are sorry for the delay. It is completed. The processor needed to be repaired. You can take it home"

Despite your fury and that fact that you'll have to carry the machinery by yourself, you'll be glad its finished.

He drops the bombshell with finesse,
"That'll be 6500. We accept cheque payment."

There will be absolutely no point arguing. He will tell you about how this part cost this much and how the damage was severe and finally after destroying you with technical names, you'll have no choice but to surrender. After painfully parting with 6500, you'll finally be able to open Mozilla Firefox.

-------------------

That's why it always helps to have a tech-freak in the house and believe in them even though they'll be the ones responsible for most break downs.

Yet, you cant know everything. If the inner, deeper, unknown parts  get damaged, it is the mechanics' lucky day. He'll replace it for a 10000 bucks. After he does that, another mech would tell you he would have done the same replacement with just 8000 bucks. You'll go scream at the first guy. He would simply say,
"That guy uses inferior quality machinery. It wouldn't last five days."
Its hopeless.

The bigger the machine gets, the more they steal. Another instance where the car doesn't start. It'll be sent to garage and will stay there for weeks till you empty your phone balance.
Finally, you'll receive a bill of 25000. Yeah I know they replaced oil, motors and all other crap. Hmpf. All they must have done was put two wires into place.

And when you ask why the AC isn't working, they'll say you never asked them to see the AC and that'll cost another 30000 because apparently the condenser is broken.
You'll run out of that place with your car saying, "Vendaam Pah Saami".

So, it always helps to have a full fledged mechanical engineer as a relative. Or, the simpler alternative, is to be a millionaire. Solves all problems doesn't it? No repairs. Get new stuff. Simple. Be a mech. You'll get there.